The golden pot at the end of the rainbow…

Hello everybody!

I have been trying to focus on my PhD thesis (my never-ending PhD thesis)…

It’s a slow process and it has been the most difficult and challenging professional project I have ever embraced and, also, the hardest test to my personal resilience and psychological resistance! (And no… this is NOT an exaggeration… I wish!)

It’s extremely hard to maintain motivation and focus on a project for like 4 years, with little return throughout the whole process…

Keeping the eyes on the prize isn’t always easy… the prize seems to be in such a distant place… Actually, it sometimes feels like a run for the golden pot at the end of the rainbow: it feels like we’re travelling endless miles to get to… well… nowhere: no prize, no pot, no ending…

Sometimes the urge to give up fills me up: all the way from my little toe finger to my always über sensitive stressed scalp… I try to scream it out of me: but I make no sound at all! The pressure remains high, and the scalp remains sensitive.

My back hurts, my neck hurt, my head hurts… what is the point?

… and that is the tricky question! “Is there a point??” – my head screams in desperation – “YES!” – my heart answers…

Then I remember why I started this journey: my passion for research in psychotherapy… the project… my plans… the goals and the meaning of it all…

And when I realize this… the pressure drops… the anxiety and urge to give up disappear…

… until they come back again… every other day…

I don’t know if you can relate to this… (But I was kind of hoping to find someone who does!So that I would feel less lonely in this craziness…)

But anyway… if you DO relate to this kind of roller coaster… Whatever the issue is… just: HOLD ON! Keep your head above the water… stay down when yo hear the shots… and you’ll get by…

I also enjoy looking at the rearview mirror and contemplate all that I have already accomplished and overcome… it seems to help ;)

But you know what? WE CAN SURVIVE… WE CAN ALWAYS SURVIVE! :) and THAT is the most important belief of ALL… So… keep pushing! :)

Thank you for you company…

Raquel :)

PS-I’d love to hear about your own struggles… and how you manage to hang on and  get over it! :) Would you like to share it with me??

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7 thoughts on “The golden pot at the end of the rainbow…

  1. This is such a well-written post Raquel! :) Even though I can’t really relate to your situation I know that is must be so hard, but I’m sure you’ll find your golden pot! :) Even though you’re struggling you have a positive attitude and that’s the most important! :)

  2. Oi, Raquel!

    Aqui é a thaisavm do twitter. Desejo muita força e ânimo para você passar essa fase da melhor maneira possível. Torcendo por você!

    Beijo

    Thaisa

  3. I can see where you’re coming from, Raquel. I think the moment we get overwhelmed is when we start looking too far into the future and get sort of “swallowed up” by the task. At times like that, I try to get myself back to the mindset of taking every day, sometimes every small task- at a time. It’s hard, but I find I try my best to be “in the moment” as much as possible. Not concerned about what’s coming next, how much is left, or even the pot at the end of the rainbow. Goals are great, however, it’s important to enjoy each step you have along the way.

  4. Nós somos sobreviventes Raquel, cada uma a sua maneira. Não desistir é algo desafiador para o ser humano. Continue olhando pelo retrovisor e observe sempre os obstáculos que vc conseguiu ultrapassar – é isso que nos dá força pra continuar indo em frente.

    Um grande beijo minha querida e força que você consegue, tenho outras amigas que passam pelo desafio do Doutorado, realmente é muito estressante, mas tenho certeza que você tem estrutura pra isso.

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